remember when Disney made a movie about Waluigi
When the person you hate gets into trouble
I DONT THINK IVE EVER LAUGHED THIS HARD IN MY LIFE
do white people even have responsibilities n shit like how the fuck do you have time to do this nonsense
THAT FUCKING COMMENT
An Infinite List of Favorite Collections - Stephane Rolland F/W 2014-15 Haute Couture
my mom wouldn’t let me get a ferret when i was younger because she thought it would turn me gay
well guess what mom it wasn’t the ferret that did it
In New Zealand our drinking age is 18 but the drink driving tolerance for under 20s is zero and my friend who’s a cop said he gets great pleasure out of breathalising sober under 20 year olds and watching the terror fill their face as he tells them they’re 10 times over the legit drinking limit cause ten times zero is still zero
no mom i already have a job its called being hardcore
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
“Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?” The whisper was barely audible; her lips were an inch from his ear, her head bent so low that her long hair shielded his face from the onlookers. “Yes,” he breathed back. He felt the hand on his chest contract; her nails pierced him. Then it was withdrawn. She had sat up. “He is dead!” Narcissa Malfoy called to the watchers.
In the end, Voldemort’s fate twice came down to the choice of a woman, a mother.
Rock ‘n roll.
Harry Potter as a series repeatedly tells us never to underestimate a mother’s love. Lilly’s love for Harry nearly killed Voldemort the first time, Narcissa’s love for Draco set him up for his real death, and Voldemort’s greatest general was killed by Molly, a mother who loved all of her children and feared losing any more to the magical war.
Bitches. Get. Stuff. Done.
#but i would SO DEEPLY LOVE for this moment to be the start#of a harry/narcissa friendship that everyone else thinks is REALLY WEIRD#like they send each other owls ALL THE TIME#she helps him properly cleanse and renovate 12 grimmauld place#she takes him shopping for proper wizarding clothes #he buys her dinner#they go to professional quidditch matches together#wizarding paps keep getting pictures of them going places arm-in-arm and giggling#draco gets up in the middle of the night and comes to the kitchen#to harass the house-elves for tea#and harry and narcissa are down there barefoot in their pajamas#possibly draco starts to cry #IT COULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL (via)
If you asked me to pick my favorite Harry Potter character, I would have a hard time picking between Luna Lovegood and Narcissa Malfoy.
But like okay, regarding the above, Harry Potter is the heir to the Blacks, to her family, it starts off kind of politically and she has to make sure he doesn’t ruin anything or throw away any other important heirlooms and then they become buddies and Harry is babysitting Teddy one day and Narcissa is kinda punched in the heart with the realization that yes, this is her baby grand-nephew and she eventually reconciles with Andromeda and then I have a lot of Black Family Feelings.
Alternately, AU in which Narcissa Malfoy and Molly Weasley team up and together they Fight Crime As Badass Moms.
Posts like this make me appreciate fanfic in ways I probably wouldn’t were it not for tumblr. I’m not about to dive into fanfic or anything, but like those are legitimately cool ideas and I’m genuinely pleased that there are people out there who are so excited to think them.
for a person who isn’t exclusively attracted to people of the same gender I sure do say im gay a lot
lets blow this joint
AND FUCK SHIT UP
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